• Me: Where are the owls? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?
  • Hooters Waitress: Please sir, you're causing a fuss and disturbing the other customers-
  • Me: *banging my hands rhythmically on the table* WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?

skeletonsdontreal:

cooldudebro:

let me lay down some facts for you:

  • aliens are real
  • horoscopes are real
  • skeletons are real
  • star wars is probably real
  • linkin park is almost too real

i have some rather shocking news for you my friend

woodmeat:

my name is timmy turner and i

peed in the ball pit at dashcon

familyfriendlycryingpoems:

this is my senior page

familyfriendlycryingpoems:

this is my senior page

hooddoggy:

person: chris watch out! youre about to get your crocs wet!

me: I KNOW! its OK! crocs are made from a foam resin called croslite, which is made out of a polymer called ethylene-vinyl acetate! so theyre completely water proof!

Reblog if you see your fandom

dracch:

  • Waluigi
  • Waluigi
  • Waluigi
  • Waluigi
  • Waluigi
  • Waluigi
  • Waluigi
  • Waluigi
  • Waluigi

breadmaakesyoufat:

when a group of teenagers walks past you and starts laughing at you for no apparent reason

image

evabadon:

"when women wear makeup they’re basically lying to us" well i don’t see why i’m being blamed for a man stupid enough to really think i have red and gold eyelids

caelas:

saying feminism is unnecessary because you don’t feel oppressed is like saying fire extinguishers are unnecessary because your house isn’t on fire

wolfshirou:

madwatch-madwatch:

wolfshirou:

doctor-gordon-freeman:

wolfshirou:

what is the point of gay straight alliances why would i want to be in an alliance with straight people

Because we outnumber you. 

I’m not saying it’s fair. I’m saying it’s true.

fruit flies outnumber us too but you don’t see me being in an alliance with them

Fruit flies have very little influence on our lives apart from being a nuisance

not seeing many differences between fruit flies and straight allies

littlemorethananerd:

soylentvanilla:

Don’t tell me you “understand” why I’m vegan. If you understood you’d be vegan, too.

Understanding doesn’t equal agreement. I understand why Walter White started to cook meth, doesn’t mean I’m gonna buy an RV and a barrel of methylamine.


  • band member: so how old are you?
  • me: how old do you need me to be
wisteriafield:

i’ll kick anyone’s ass. i’ll kick your ass. i’ll kick your dog’s ass. i’ll kick my own ass

wisteriafield:

i’ll kick anyone’s ass. i’ll kick your ass. i’ll kick your dog’s ass. i’ll kick my own ass

justinbaeber7:

BITCH U BETTA GO AWF

justinbaeber7:

BITCH U BETTA GO AWF